Quote of the Day: "Dong whallop! *crushes a car*" - Me

So Gloria and I switched places for a little while. I tell you, she wears really comfortable underwear.  

You really have no idea how hard it is to type through a blanket of naked women. I think I'm hitting R or L, but I'm really tapping off a whole lotta O's. *Rimshot.*

Combine that with a rich, luxurient fug of cigar smoke, and it's fucking impossible ... for the mere mortal, that is. No one mentions this, but ninjas have a second layer of eyelids. Blast me with all the mace you want, officer, it ain't gonna do diddly. Nada. Zippo. Fly fucking speck. Then I'm going to rip out your spleen with my teeth. Then we'll see who has unpaid tickets.

One moment.

*Snaps a pirate's neck*

Holy SHIT, I love llamas. And Crackhead. And monkeypox. And being hung like a white rhino. Bacon rod ambush! *double-slaps a Frenchman* Crotch rocket offensive! *splits oak table* Dungula bone punch! *upsets nunnery* Tickle pickle blitz! *destroys an emu* Spoo shooter skirmish! *levels Libya*

Well, that's all I got for today. Not that I'm tired, I just should go before Gloria sees what kind of mess I left here. Later, bitches. The Sinja, out.

Hup!

*Back-spiral-flips out the window*