Gotta giggle when you read that the news that Seven of Nine's bust is (finally?) available for purchase. The following was pulled from Sideshow Weta's newsletter: "Sideshow is proud to announce the next bust in the Star Trek series; Seven of Nine, from Star Trek Voyager. This is the only femal . . . (More)

Phone rings. Me: Yello? Telemarketer: Hello. Are Mr. So-and-So and Mrs. So-and-So home? Me: No. Unusually, this is in fact true. Although my father is lying in the living room watching soccer, my mother had left seconds ago to pick up Wesley from school. It's all in the phrasing, babe. . . . (More)

Art doesn't need a reason. I present to you: Rex the Warsquid. Why does he wear a crown, you say? A crown, ladies and gents, is a symbol for kingship. Why kingship? Kingship, because "rex" is Latin for "king."Where, then, you persist, is the "war" in "warsquid"? Well. To be completely fran . . . (More)

Suicide monkey! There was a reason I went into classics instead of art. Click for the winged version. . . . (More)

Ovid, you charming scamp. "Don't neglect the horse races if you're looking for a place to meet your girlfriend. A [racetrack] crowded with people offers many advantages ... The narrowness of each seating space forces you to squeeze together; in fact, the rules for seating compel you to touc . . . (More)

We went apple-picking on Thanksgiving. We haven't gone in years, because we always lugged back enormous amounts of fruit we could not have possibly consumed ourselves, and ended up giving away to neighbours. It's always freezing out, and the harvesting business itself is scarcely what it's all cr . . . (More)

So I was sitting there in the bathroom, just before my shower, quite naked -- and it gets considerably less sexy after this -- on the can finishing a pee. I was sort of drifting off into miscellaneous reverie -- yeah, I distract rather easily, any place, any time -- when I noticed a wriggling m . . . (More)

It was a nice bookstore -- well-lit, tasteful music, wide stock. My purchases rung up and paid for, the clerk behind the counter began to slip the books into a plain plastic bag, one by one. Although he was no older than his early thirties, he was starting to grey slightly at the temples, an . . . (More)

I love dollar stores. They combine the two best features that might be offered by any retail institution -- dirt cheap prices and the weirdest, coolest fucking stock ever. I've dug out 90210 gift tags, Dinky Dinos (Cato the Elder, a sheep, did not survive five overfeedings), a Masters o . . . (More)

Oh, BBC, you sly creature, you.  A story was published on the British news site concerning a pair of security scares this morning at the Los Angeles International Airport. One incident involved the explosion of corroded batteries, and the other an apparent circumvention of security, but may . . . (More)